Humor & Jokes About Relationships
Humor & Jokes About Relationships
"When a man steals your wife there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her." ~ Sacha Guitry
TALKING TO GOD
A man is talking to God and asks him:
"God, why did you make women so beautiful?"
God replies:
"So that you would find them attractive."
Then the man asks:
"God, but why did you have to make them so dumb?"
God replies:
"So that they would find you attractive!"
"The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly." ~ Peter De Vries
DIFFICULT WISH
A fellow was walking along the beach on a blustery autumn day when he stumbled upon a bottle. he picked it up, and a genie popped out and said he'd grant him one wish.
The fellow thought for a moment and finally said:
"I'm afraid of flying and get seasick on boats. at this time of year it would be nice to go to Hawaii, so could you build me a highway across the Pacific Ocean?"
The genie considered the request, but decided it would be too difficult.
"It would cost billions and take a very long time. Don't you have another wish I can grant you?"
"Well," the fellow said, "I've always wanted to know what makes women tick. Why are they the way they are?"
The genie replied,
"Will that be two lanes or four?"
IN AGREEMENT
WIFE:"I consider, John, that sheep are the stupidest creatures living."
HUSBAND: (absent-mindedly) "Yes, my lamb."
"Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night." ~ Paul Hornung
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If you need some dry material instantly you can use your microwave oven for making what you need. To dry herbs or flowers in the microwave oven instantly you will need SILICA GEL. Silica gel is a substance used to dry delicate flowers too, such as roses or calendula, as it preserves their forms and colors well. Silica gel can usually be found in craft stores.
It is very simple to dry flowers with a silica crystals, just use microwave safe container with a 1" (2,5 cm) thick layer of the silica crystals and place your flowers on the top allowing about 1-inch of space around the sides and between each flowers. Put another 1-inch layer on the top of flowers and then microwave on cca 50 % power for approximately 2-3 minutes, depending on the type of your microwave and flowers. It is better to check the material progress an add some more times if needed. Flowers and leaves often have different drying times, microwave them separately for better result.
Never use silica gel containers for preparing food after you use them for drying flowers, because they often absorbs pesticides from plants as they dry.