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KIDS
HUMOR
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If you pull
the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?
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PRIDE
is what you feel
when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
PANIC is
what you feel
when you realize your car is missing. |
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PART
OF THE BODY
Mr. Baldwin,
the biology teacher
called on Mary, "Can you tell me the
part of the body that, under the
right
conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the
conditions."
Mary gasped
and said in a
huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That
is an inappropriate question and my
parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat
down,
red-faced.
"Susan, can
you tell me the
answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin
"The pupil
of the eye, under
dark conditions," said Susan.
"Correct.
Now Mary, I have
three things to say to you:
First, you have not studied your
lesson.
Second,
you have a dirty mind.
And third, boy are you going to be
disappointed
someday!"
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Using
His Head
While riding
his bike to the
video store, a ten-year-old boy, recalled how the clerk had on a
previous
occasion insisted on seeing some identification before she'd rent him a
video under his family membership.
Rather than
bike all the
way home, he stopped at a friend's house and asked to borrow a pen. At
the video store, when' the clerk again asked for'some ID, boy whipped
off
his baseball 'cap and showed her his name neatly printed on the inside.
Clerk rented him the video.
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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PLAYING
Little
Jane: "George and I have been down-stairs in the
dining-room, Papa. We've been playing Husband and Wife!"
Papa: "How did you
do that, my dear?"
Little Jane: "Well,
Georgy sat at one end of the table, and I sat at
the
other; and Georgy said, 'This food isn't fit to eat!' and I said, 'It's
all you'll get!' and Georgy said, 'Damn!' and I got up and left the
room!" |
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AT
THE ZOO
A father
and
his small son were
standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining
how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in
with
a serious expression.
Dad," the
boy said finally,
"if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..."
"Yes, son?" the father said
expectantly.
"What bus
should I take home?"
the boy finished.
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Son to
his father as
they watch television: "Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you
had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel."
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