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Humor From Work Vol. 8
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Prison vs. Work
In Prison: You spend the
majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At Work: You spend most
of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In Prison: You
get three meals a day for free.
At Work: You only get
a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In Prison: You get time
off for good behavior.
At Work: You get rewarded
for good behavior with more work.
In Prison: A guard locks
and unlocks all the doors for you.
At Work: You must carry
around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In Prison: You
can watch TV and play games.
At Work: You get fired
for watching TV and playing games.
In Prison: You get your
own toilet.
At Work: You have to
share.
In Prison: They allow
your family and friends to visit.
At Work: You cannot even
speak
to your family or friends.
In Prison: All expenses
are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At Work: You get to
pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your
salary to pay for prisoners.
In Prison: You spend
most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get
out.
At Work: You spend most
of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
In Prison:There are
wardens who are often sadistic. At Work: They are called
supervisors.
In Prison:You can't
get fired if you read e-mail jokes. At Work: You get fired if
you
get caught.
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COLLEGE GRADUATE
A young man hired by a supermarket
reported to his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and
a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep
out
the store."
"But I'm a college graduate,"
young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I apologize. I didn't
know that," said the manager." Here, give me the broom - I'll show you
how." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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QUESTION
"Now, sir," said a local lawyer to a
candidate for
municipal
honors, "I want to ask you a question. Do you ever take alcoholic
drinks?"
"Before I answer the question," responded the wary candidate,
"I want to know whether it is put as an inquiry or as an
invitation!" |
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CAPITALIST
One Christian Bishop was remarkable for the
neatness and point of his
pulpit
utterances.
Once, during a disastrous strike, a local capitalist arose in
a church meeting and asked leave to speak. The bishop gave him the
floor,
and the man delivered himself of a long panegyric upon captains of
industry,
upon the good they do by giving men work, by booming the country, by
reducing
the cost of production, and so forth. When the capitalist had finished
his self-praise and, flushed and satisfied, had sat down again,
Christian Bishop rose and said with quiet significance: 'Is there any
other
sinner
that would like to say a word?'" |
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