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COMPUTER
VIRUSES
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ATTENTION
USERS!
SOME OF
THESE HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO JUMP
OUT
OF THE MACHINES
AND ATTACK THE USERS.
OUR COMPANY TAKE NO
RESPONSIBILITY
FOR ANY
VIRUSES THAT ATTACK THE READERS OF THIS LIST.
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| H |
HEALTH
CARE VIRUS: Test your system for a day, finds
nothing wrong,
and sends you a bill for $4,500.
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| I |
| IMELDA
MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off
key) on boot up,
then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on
expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy. |
| J |
| JIMMY
HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found
again |
| K |
KEVORKIAN
VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an
act of mercy.
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| L |
LAPD
VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other
files on your
PC and erases them in "self - defense."
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| M |
| MARIO
CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it
refuses to run. |
MCI VIRUS:
Every three minutes it reminds you that
you're paying too
much for the AT&T virus.
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| MICHAEL
JACKSON VIRUS: Hard to identify because it is
constantly altering
its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash
your car. |
| N |
NEW WORLD
ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes
a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
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NIKE
VIRUS: Just does it.
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| O |
OLLIE
NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a
paper shredder.
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| OPRAH
WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80MB,
and then slowly expands back to 200MB. |
ORAL
ROBERTS VIRUS: Claims that if you don't send it a
million dollars,
it's programmer will take it back.
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O. J.
SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing
your system,
but you just can't prove it.
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P
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PAUL
REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns
you of
impending
hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>
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PBS VIRUS:
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask
for money.
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POLITICALLY
CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a
"virus," but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism"
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R
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RIGHT TO
LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file,
regardless of
how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first
see a counsellor about possible alternatives.
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ROSS PEROT
VIRUS: Activates every component in your
system, just before
the whole thing quits.
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| S |
SEARS
VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new
cables, power
supply, and a set of shocks.
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STAR TREK
VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no
virus has gone
before.
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| T |
TED TURNER
VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome
monitor.
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TERRY
RANDLE VIRUS: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever
you choose "Abort"
from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
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TEXAS
VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other
file.
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| X |
XY PRESIDENTIAL VIRUS: All
files disappear, only to reappear very mysteriously a year later,
in another dress directory.
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BACK
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