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Real
Life Humor Vol.8
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Employer (inspecting a very
inflated bill for work):
"How
on Earth did you get at this amount?"
New Worker: "Well,
Sir, didn't know how you'd prefer me to
charge it
up, so I just charged by time."
Employer: "Oh,
really! I thought you must have been charging
by
eternity." |
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Corrections
In a church bulletin listing
corrections
from the Council of Catholic Women's cookbook,
Come to the Table:
"Mom's Meatballs - 1 litre wine should be 1 litre
water. (Sorry
folks!)" |
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Father: "Look here,
Billy, Mr. Smith called at the office
this morning
about your fight with his boy yesterday."
Son: "Did he? I
hope you got on as well as I did." |
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Birthday Present
Vicar's Wife: "What
are you children doing in daddy's study?"
Vicar's Son (5 years):
"It's a great secret, Mummy. We're giving daddy a new
bible for
his birthday."
Vicar's Wife:
"Oh—and what are you writing in it?"
Vicar's Daughter (7 years):
"Well, you see, we thought we'd better copy what
daddy's
friends put in the books they give him, so we're writing, 'With the
author's compliments.'" |
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Missed Train
English Travelers in India: "Well! we've missed that confounded
train. What time will the next
one
be here?"
Officer: "If the
engine doesn't break down, and the track doesn't spread, and
they don't run into any cows, and the up-freight isn't behind time, and
the swing bridge isn't open, it ought to be here in about two hours."
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Idiom's Delight
One evening American family dined
out with Swiss cousins, who were visiting the United Sates. When the
waitress
came
to tie their order, one cousin cheerfully requested salad, "with the
Thousand
Aliens dressing, please." |
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Employer: "John, I
wish you wouldn't whistle at your work."
Worker:
"I wasn't working, Sir; only whistling." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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SENATORIAL MANNER
Famous
American senator
was the guest at dinner of a solicitous hostess who insisted rather
annoyingly that he was eating nothing at all, that he had no appetite,
that he was not making out a meal.
Finally, senator tired out of her hospitable chatter, decided to
address her in his most ponderous senatorial manner: "Madam, permit me
to assure you that I sometimes eat more than at other times, but never
less." |
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THE WONDERS
An American tourist and his wife, after
their return from abroad,
were
telling of the wonders seen by them at the Louvre in Paris. The husband
mentioned with enthusiasm a picture which represented Adam and Eve and
the serpent in the Garden of Eden, in connection with the eating of the
forbidden fruit. The wife also waxed enthusiastic, and interjected a
remark: "Yes, we found the picture most interesting, most interesting
indeed,
because, you see, we know the anecdote." |
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