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Real
Life Humor Vol.5
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Celebrations
The Canadian Navy was participating in
celebrations for the Belgian
Navy's 50th anniversary. HMCS Montreal was lading the fleet in a salute
to the King of Belgium. The executive officer explained the procedure
for
a "cheers ship": The crew would hold their hats in front of them and
circle
them clockwise. Noticing some confusion, he added: "For those of you
who
grew up with digital watches, please ask one of the old guys which
direction
clockwise is." |
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Undercover
Repair
When woman
opened the lid of the washing machine to remove the clothes,
she saw that the tub was still full of soapy water.
She called the repairman to come over. After he had worked on the
machine
for an hour, he discovered the obstruction between the drum and the
inner tub.
Repairman cleaned up, made out the bill and handed it to her. It read:
"Removed lady's bra." |
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Father: "I should
like you to have more 'good' in
your report, and
not
always 'fair.'"
Son: " I agree,
Dad. But
you see, I'm an
ordinary boy of ordinary parents, and that's an ordinary report." |
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Chicken Story
A well known New York City salesman recently married,
was
accompanied
by his wife as he entered the dining-room of a popular Texas hotel
famed for
its
excellent cuisine. His order was served promptly, but the fried chicken
he had been telling his new wife so much about was not in evidence.
"Where
is my chicken?" he asked somewhat irritably.
The dusky waiter, leaning over and
bringing his mouth in
close
proximity
to the salesman's ear, replied:
"If you mean the li'l gal with
blue
eyes an' fluffy hair, she is not
working with us any more." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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INVENTORS
The men were arguing as to who was the
greatest inventor. One said
Stephenson,
who invented the locomotive. Another declared it was the man who
invented
the compass. Another contended for Edison. Still another for the
Wrights,
Finally one of them turned to a little man who had remained silent:
"Who do you think?"
"Vell," he said, with a hopeful smile, "the man who invented
interest
was no slouch." |
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RATIONS
The military officer of an American
regiment camping in Afganistan came across
a private on the outskirts of the camp, painfully munching on
something.
His face was wry and his lips seemed to move only with the greatest
effort.
"What are you eating?" demanded the officer.
"Persimmons, sir."
"Good Heavens! Haven't you got any more sense than to eat persimmons
at this time of the year? They'll pucker the very stomach out of you."
"I know, sir. That's why I'm eatin' 'em. I'm tryin' to shrink me
stomach
to fit me rations." |
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