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Medical Humor & Jokes Vol.4
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Why
is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
every two hours?
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COFFEE BREAK
Four surgeons were taking
a coffee break and were discussing their
work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to
operate on.
You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to
operate on.
You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You
open them up
and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers.
They're heartless
spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable."
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BOSS
When the Lord made man, all the
parts of the body
argued over who would be boss. The brain explained that since he
controlled
all the parts of the body, he should be boss. The legs argued that
since
they took man wherever he wanted to go, they should be boss. The
stomach
countered with the explanation that since he digested all the food, he
should be boss. The eyes said that without them man would be helpless,
so they should be boss. Then the asshole applied for the job. The other
parts of the body laughed so hard at this that the asshole became mad
and
closed up.
After a few days... The
brain went foggy, the legs got
wobbly,
the stomach got ill, and the eyes got crossed and unable to see. They
all
conceded and made the asshole boss.
This proved that you don't have to
be a brain
to be boss... Just an Asshole. |
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NO
REFILLS
A distraught patient phoned her
doctor's office. "Is it true",
the woman wanted to know, "that the
medication you
prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so."
The doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman
continued, "I'm wondering,
then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO
REFILLS.'" |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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CONSERVATIVE
He was a stout man, and his feet were big
in proportion. He wore
stout
boots, too, with broad, square, sensibly-shaped toes; and when he came
into the boot shop to buy another pair, he found he had some difficulty
in getting what he wanted.
A dozen, two dozen, three dozen pairs were brought and shown him.
"No, no! Square toes—must have square toes," he insisted.
"But, sir, everybody is wearing shoes with pointed toes. They are
fashionable this season."
"I'm sorry," said the stout man gravely, as he got up and prepared
to
leave the shop. "I'm very sorry to have troubled you, I'm sure. But,
you
see, I'm still wearing my last season's feet!" |
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CERTIFICATE
Screen
Actress: I have a certificate from my doctor saying
that I
cannot act to-day.
Manager:
Why did you go to all that trouble? I could have
given you a
certificate saying that you never could act. |
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