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Medical Humor &
Jokes Vol.3
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As she lay there
dozing next
to him, a voice inside his head kept saying, "Relax,
you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients."
But another voice kept reminding him, "Howard,
you are a
veterinarian." |
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HELP
When a car skidded on wet pavement
and struck
a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver.
A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man
rushed in and
pushed her back.
"Step aside, lady,"
he barked. "I've taken a course in
first aid."
The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his
shoulder.
"Pardon me," she
said. "But when you get to the part
about calling a
doctor,
I'm right here." |
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SAUERKRAUT
A doctor started having an affair with his nurse, and
shortly after
this started, she announced that she had become pregnant. Not wanting
his
wife to find out, he gave her a large amount of money and asked
her
to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out the pregnancy and
have
the baby over there.
"But, how will you know
when our baby is born?" she asked.
"Well",
he said, "After you've had the baby,
just send me a post card and write
'sauerkraut' on the back".
Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to
Germany.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at his
office. "Dear, you received a very
strange post card in the mail
today",
she explained."I don't understand what it means!"
"Just wait till I get home
and I'll read it," he replied.
Later
that evening, the doctor came home and read his postcard which said: "SAUERKRAUT,
SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT; TWO WITH WIENERS, ONE WITHOUT!" |
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A MAGIC HEALER
During an exciting game of football a
player had two
fingers of his
right hand badly smashed, and on his way home from the ground he
dropped
into the doctor's to have them attended to.
"Doctor," he asked,
anxiously. "When this hand of mine
heals, will I
be
able to play the piano?"
"Certainly you will,"
the doctor assured him.
"Then you're a wonder,
doctor. I never could before." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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Doctor (at
door, to butler): Tell your
master the
doctor is here.
Butler:
The master is in great pain, sir. He is receiving
nobody.
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NO NONSENSE ABOUT IT
The new vicar was paying a visit amongst
the patients in the local
hospital. When he entered Ward No. 2, he
came across a pale-looking
man
lying in a cot, heavily swathed in bandages. There he stopped, and
after
administering a few words of comfort to the unfortunate sufferer, he
remarked in cheering tones:
"Never mind, my man, you'll soon be all right. Keep on smiling;
that's
the way in the world."
"I shall never smile again," replied the youth, sadly.
"Nonsense!" ejaculated the vicar.
"There ain't no nonsense about it!" exclaimed the other, heatedly.
"It's
through smiling at another chap's girl that I'm here now." |
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