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Marriage & Wedding Humor Vol.7
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BACK TO WAL-MART
I never could stand Melvin. Why I married him I'll
never know. And
for seventeen miserable years I have said Melvin has got to go! I tried
poisoning cakes, stripping his brakes, salting his pork chops with
lime.
Wiring his chair, igniting his hair even though playing with fire is a
crime. But, I failed at each plot, till I suddenly thought of a way
that
would set me free! I got rid of him for good, and, know what? They
can't
do a thing to me! I took him back to Wal-Mart! They'll take anything
back
you know! They said they couldn't recall selling him, But they must
have
if I said so. They just credited him to my Visa, and said, "Ya'll
come
back now, 'ya hear?" They were so nice, polite, pleasant and
insistent,
I will! I'll take back his mother next year! They'll take anything back
at Wal-Mart, though it's broken or rotten or sweet. And know what else?
This time of year? You don't even need a receipt! |
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"I would die for you," said the rich older groom.
"How soon?" asked the practical bride-to-be. |
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FOUNDED
The British Consul was informed by American
government that one of his countrywomen, supposed to be living in
Great Britain, had been left a large fortune. After advertising
without result, he applied to the police, and a smart young
detective was set to work. A few weeks later his chief asked how he
was getting on.
"I've found the lady,
sir."
"Good! Where is she?"
"At my place. I married
her yesterday." |
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| I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife
having the last word. I'd just wish to hell she'd
get
to it! |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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NATION
Mr. Graham: "Do you know, Miss Hill, if I
had my way, I'd put
every
woman in jail!"
Miss Hill: "Why, Mr. Graham, I'm surprised. I didn't know you
felt that
way about us! What sort of a nation do you think this would be, if you
put all the women in jail?"
Mr. Graham:
"Stag-nation, of course!" |
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"I'd like to see the man who could persuade
me to promise to love,
honour and obey him," said Miss Page.
"I don't blame you,"
remarked the newly-made bride. |
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"Your wife
looks stunning to-night. Her gown is a poem."
"What do you mean, poem?" replied the struggling author. "That gown
is
two poems and a short story." |
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