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Marriage & Wedding Humor Vol.5
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HARD TO REMEMBER
An elderly widow and widower were
dating for about
five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She
immediately
said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer
was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me
funny..."
After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the
telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't
remember her answer to the marriage proposal.
"Oh", she said, "I'm
so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I
couldn't
remember who it was." |
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"Do you miss your husband as much as when he first went
away?"
"No, I am becoming reconciled. You see he sent me a
power of
attorney." |
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WIDOWS
During the course of conversation between
two ladies in a
hotel cafeteria one said to the other: "Are
you married?"
"No, I am not,"
replied the other. "Are you?"
"No," was the
reply, "I, too, am on the single
list," adding: "Strange that
two such
estimable women as ourselves should have
been overlooked in the great matrimonial market! Now that lady,"
pointing to another who was passing, "has
been widowed four times,
two of her husbands having been cremated. The woman," she
continued, "is plain and
uninteresting, and yet she has them to
burn." |
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She: "Dear, our
friends are having their wooden
wedding next week.
What can
we give them?"
He: "We might send
them a receipt for some of the money
he owes me." |
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JEWELRY
A woman decided to have her portrait
painted. She
told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond
necklace,
emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."
"But you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die
before my
husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife
to
go nuts looking for the jewelry." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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WEDDING
Lilly was a maidservant in the house of very wealthy senator. One day
she came to her boss. "Ah would like a week's vacation,
Mrs
Annie," she said, in her soft southern accent; "Ah wants to be
married."
Lilly had been a good worker, so her boss gave her the week's
vacation,
a white dress, a veil, money for wedding gift and a traditional plum
cake.
Promptly at the end of the week Lilly returned, radiant. "Oh, Mrs
Annie!" she exclaimed, "Ah was the mos' lovely bride! Ma dress was
pcrfec',
ma veil mos' lovely, the cake mos' good! An' oh, the dancin' an' the
eatin'!"
"Well, Lilly, this sounds delightful," said her boss, "but you
have left out the point of your story, I hope you have a good husband."
Lilly's tone changed to indignation: "Now, Mrs Annie, what yo'
think?
Tha' darn liar nebber turn up!" |
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WIVES
"Father," said a little boy, "did Solomon
had seven hundred wives?"
"I believe so, my son," said the father.
"Well, father, was he the man who said, 'Give me liberty or give me
death?'" |
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