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Marriage & Wedding Humor Vol.2
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FEMININITY
Julia: "Our
friend Mary married a very wealthy man, you
know. She tells
me she
has absolutely nothing to wish for."
Linda: "Oh, Julia!
What a dreadful state to be
in." |
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Husband: "Why is it
that women always say,
'I'll be ready
in two
seconds'?"
Wife: "Humph! and
why is it that men always
say, 'Oh! I'm
ready now'?" |
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POETIC & PRACTICAL
Poetic
Groom: "I could sit here forever, gazing
into
your eyes,
and listening to the wash of the ocean."
Practical Bride:
"Oh! That reminds me, darling,
we have not
paid our honeymoon bill yet." |
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She: "I never saw a
married couple who got on so
well
together as Mr.
and Mrs. Smith."
He: "Humph! I know!
Each of them does exactly as she
likes." |
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LITERALLY
Husband: "I understand that she fairly threw herself at
him."
Wife: "Yes! They met in an automobile collision." |
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She: "I have not
been able to wear my new
hat yet on
account of
the weather."
He: "Humph! And I
suppose by the time it
clears up
the
fashion will have changed." |
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HOW IT HAPPENED
"What! You don't mean to tell me they are
engaged! Why!
They never
met
until a week ago."
"I know it. But they happened, while out rowing
together, to get
caught
in a thunder storm." |
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a link or joke to a friend
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WEDDING PRESENT
Among the presents lately showered upon a
dusky bride in a rural
section
of Virginia, was one that was a gift of an old woman with whom both
bride
and groom were great favorites.
Some time ago, it appears, the old woman accumulated a supply of
cardboard
mottoes, which she worked and had framed as occasion arose.
So it happened that in a neat combination of blues and reds,
suspended
by a cord of orange, there hung over the table whereon the other
presents
were displayed for the delectation of the wedding guests, this motto: FIGHT ON; FIGHT EVER. |
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WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES
Uncle James had put on a clean collar and his best coat, and was
walking majestically up and down the street.
"Aren't you working to-day, Uncle?" asked somebody.
"No, suh. I'se celebrating' mah golden weddin' suh."
"You were married fifty years ago to-day, then!"
"Yes, suh."
"Well, why isn't your wife helping you to celebrate?"
"Mah present wife, suh," replied Uncle James with dignity, "ain't
got nothin' to do with it." |
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