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LAWYER
JOKES VOL.1
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God
decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once
and
for all.
When
Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're
going
to find a lawyer? |
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THROW
IT AWAY
Four
passengers Russian, a Cuban,
an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian
takes a bottle
of the best Russian's Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass,
drinks
it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in
the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine.
And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying
that,
he open the window and throw the rest of the bottle through it. All the
others are quite impressed.
The Cuban
takes a pack of
Havana's Cigar, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it
saying:
"In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world - Havana, nowhere in the
world there is so many and so good cigar and we have so much of them,
that
we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of
Havana's
Cigar through the window. One more time, everybody is quite
impressed.
At this
time, the American
just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through the
window.
Nobody was impressed.
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CHRISTMAS
SHOPPING
It was
Christmas, and the judge
was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.
"What are you
charged with?"
"Doing my
Christmas shopping
early," replied the defendant.
"That's no
offense," said
the judge. " How early were you doing it?"
" Before the
store opened,"
countered the prisoner. |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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Lawyer:
"By the bye, talking of old times, do you remember
that
occasion
when I made such an awful ass of myself?"
Lawyer's Wife: "Which?" |
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| Lawyer
(suddenly,
to beautiful young girl, who has
not opened
her lips since she was introduced to him a quarter of an hour ago):
"And
now let us talk of something else!" |
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LITERARY ADVICE
Famous novelist, tells of a recent
encounter with
the
law. The value of a short story he was writing depended upon a certain
legal situation which he found difficult to manage. Going to a lawyer
of
his acquaintance he told him the plot and was shown a way to the
desired
end. "You've saved me just $900," he exclaimed, "for that's what I am
going
to get for this story."
A week later he received a bill from the
lawyer as follows: "For
literary
advice, $900." He says he paid. |
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"So you
have had a long siege of nervous prostration?" nurse said to the
lawyer.
"What caused it? Overwork?"
"In a way, yes," he answers weakly. "I tried to do some free work for a
local charity, but it doesn't agree with my personality." |
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