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KIDS
HUMOR 3
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Sign
for diaper service: "Bum Wraps."
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SPELLING
THE teacher
announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say
what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation.
Mary
went first. "My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he
would
give everyone a cookie."
Next
came Tommy. "My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd
give each of us a quarter."
Third
came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician.'' But after struggling through a
number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and
think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then
turned to Johnny.
"My
dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd
lay
you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't never gonnaspell electrician."
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Is
your mother home?
"Is your
mother home?" the salesman
asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah,
she's
home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang
the
doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came
to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said
your
mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I
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VISION
A mother of
two teenage boys,
was constantly being asked to look for things they couldn't find. Most
of the time these items were directly in front of them.
Seeing her
frustration over
this when it happened yet again, one of her sons remarked: "It's not
my fault, Mom.
I don't have 'parental vision."
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AFTER
STORM
A whole family
was caught in
a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed
to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.
"I always
knew God would
take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat
owner after the family got home.
"I like to
hear you say that,"
beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in His heaven watching
over us."
"Oh, I
wasn't talking about
THAT God," the five year old interrupted. "I was talking about the
COAST
God."
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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DEFINITION
The student, after profound thought, wrote
this definition of the
word
"spine," at his teacher's request.
"A spine is a long, limber
bone. Your head sets on one end and you
set
on the other." |
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Little Ken had a habit of dropping in at
the house next door on baking day,
for
the woman of that house had a deft way in the making of cookies, and
Ken
had no hesitation in enjoying her hospitality, even to the extent of
asking for cookies if they were not promptly forthcoming.
When the boy's father learned of this,
he gave Ken a lecture and a
strict order never to ask for cookies at the neighbor's kitchen. So,
when a few days later the father saw his son munching a cookie as he
came away from the next house, he spoke sternly:
"Have you been begging cookies again?"
"Oh, no, I didn't beg any," Ken answered
cheerfully. "I just said,
this
house smells as if it was full of cookies. But what's that to me?"
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A
high school student asked his teacher if a person should be punish for
something he hadn't done.
"No,"
said the teacher. "Of course
not,"
"Good."
said the boy. "I haven't done my
homework."
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