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Humor About Women Vol.5
Women prefer the simple things in life... like men.

COOKING HABIT

Lady was cooking bacon in her kitchen as Jim, a housepainter, worked nearby. After laying the crispy slices on a paper towel, she poured the hot grease into a jar she keep specifically for that reason, it's a habit she picked up from her mother. 
Than she noticed that the non-stick surface of the frying pan had come unstuck in places. She checked the bacon, and there seemed to be some pieces stuck to them. Rather than take any chances, she threw the bacon and the frying pan away. Jim, pausing in his work, remarked, "At my house, we keep the bacon and the pan, and throw the grease out."

CAN YOU FIX IT?

One day a woman doing laundry discovered that the dryer stopped. She called to her husband:  "Hey honey, the dryer's broke.. can you fix it?" 
"Does it say dryer repairman anywhere on my forehead?" he asked. 
"No," she said. 
A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous. 
"Does it say carpenter anywhere on my forehead?" he asked. 
"No," she said again. 
A few days later the oven broke. "Hey honey... I can't fix dinner... the oven broke. Can you fix it?" 
"Do I look like... an oven repair man?" 
"No," she replied. 
A couple of days later he went on a business trip. When he came back he said to his wife, "Hey honey. 
I noticed you got all that stuff around the house fixed. How much did it cost?" 
Well," she said, "our neighbour down the street came over and he agreed to do all the repairs for free if I'd sleep with him or bake him a cake." 
"What kind of cake did you make him?" 
She looked at him smugly and said: "Do you see Betty Crocker written anywhere on my forehead?" 

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CURIOSITY
The curiosity of an older female passenger was excited by the fact that her seatmate had his right arm in a sling, and the following dialogue occurred:
"You broke your arm, didn't you?"
"Well, yes, I did."
"Had an accident, I suppose?"
"Not exactly. I did it in trying to pat myself on the back."
"My land! On the back! Now, whatever did you want to pat yourself on the back for?"
"Just for minding my own business."

MAJOR MATTERS
Smith and Jones were discussing the question of who should be head of the house—the man or the woman.

"I am the head of my establishment," said Jones. "I am the bread-winner. Why shouldn't I be?"

"Well," replied Smith, "before my wife and I were married we made an agreement that I should make the rulings in all major things, my wife in all the minor."

"How has it worked?" queried Jones.

Smith smiled. "So far," he replied, "no major matters have come up."


GAME
A mother hastened to the play room and said to her little daughter: "Minnie, what do you mean by shouting and screaming? Play quietly, like Tommy. See, he doesn't make a sound."
"Of course he doesn't," said the little girl. "That is our game. He is papa coming home late, and I am you."