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| 12 Reasons Why God Created Dogs calendar offers a year’s worth of visual
treats and fun for all dog-lovers. This 13 months wall calendar
features daily grids with ample room for jotting appointments, birthdays
and reminders; U.S. holidays and Canadian holidays in French and English. |
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HUMOR
ABOUT DOGS VOL.3
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FIRST
PRIZE
"My dog took
first prize
at the cat show."
"How was that?"
"He took the
cat." |
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SERMON
On one
occasion the local minister
delivered a sermon of but ten minutes' duration—a most unusual thing
for
him.
Upon the
conclusion of his
remarks he added: "I regret to inform you, brethren, that my dog, who
appears
to be peculiarly fond of paper, this morning ate that portion of my
sermon
that I have not delivered. Let us pray."
After the
service the clergyman
was met at the door by a man who as a rule, attended divine service in
another parish. Shaking the good man by the hand he said:
"Father, I
should like to
know whether that dog of yours has any pups. If so I want to get one to
give to my minister."
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PITBULL
"Do you know
that that pitbull
dog of yours killed my wife's little harmless, affectionate poodle?"
"Well, what
are you going
to do about it?"
"Would you be
offended if
I was to present him with a nice brass collar?" |
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MAD
DOG
William, for
several years local
station agent at local railroad company, was peacefully promenading his
platform one morning when a rash dog ventured to snap at one of
William's
plump legs. He promptly kicked the animal halfway across the tracks,
and
was immediately confronted by the owner, who demanded an explanation in
language more forcible than courteous.
"Why," said
William when
the other paused for breath, "your dog's mad."
"Mad! Mad!
You double-dyed
blankety-blank fool, he ain't mad!"
"Oh, ain't
he?" cut in William.
"Gosh! I should be if any one kicked me like that!"
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a link or joke to a friend
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"Here
comes Mrs. Blinkers. She's got a new baby, and she'll talk us to
death."
"Well, here comes a neighbor of mine who
has a new setter dog. Let's
introduce them and leave them to their fate." |
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"Prisoner, why did you assault this
landlord?"
"Your
Honor, because I have several little dogs he refused to rent me a
flat."
"Well, that
is his privilege."
"But, your
Honor, he calls his apartment house 'Little Dog House'" |
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RAPID TRANSIT
One cold, wintry morning a tall and skinny
build man was walking
down a steep hill at a quick pace. A treacherous piece of ice under the
snow caused him to lose control of his feet; he began to slide and was
unable to stop.
At a cross-street half-way down the decline he encountered a large,
heavy woman, with her arms full of bundles. The meeting was sudden, and
before either realized it a collision ensued and both were sliding down
hill, a grand ensemble—the thin man underneath, the fat woman and
bundles
on top. When the bottom was reached and the woman was trying in vain to
recover her breath and her feet, these faint words were borne to her
ear:
"Pardon me, madam, but you will have to get off here. This is as far
as I go." |
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