|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
| Cute Puppies 2012 Calendar provide beautiful pictures with adorable puppies to make you smile every day of the year! This 13
months wall calendar features daily grids with ample room for jotting
appointments, birthdays and reminders; U.S. and Canadian holidays in
French and English. |
|
|
|
HUMOR
ABOUT DOGS VOL.2
|
|
The
more one sees
of men the more one likes dogs.
|
SEEING
EYE DOGS
Two friends
were walking their
dogs in the park when one suggested stopping at a bar for a drink.
"But we can't
go in there,"
said the second guy. "They won't let us bring our dogs in."
"Don't worry
about it,"
replied the first guy. "Just follow my lead."And into the bar he walked
with his Doberman.
"Hey," the
bartender yelled.
"you can't bring that dog in here!"
"But I'm
blind," said the
first guy. "This is my Seeing Eye dog."
Satisfied, the
bartender
seated him, and just then the other guy came in with his little
Pekingese
in tow. Again the bartender announced that dogs weren't allowed.
"But I'm
blind," said the
second man"This is my Seeing Eye dog."
The bartender
took a long
look at the dog. "That Pekingese is your Seeing Eye dog?" he asked
incredulously.
"What?" said
the second
man. "They gave me a Pekingese?" |
|
|
SPELLING
Two friends
were arguing about
dogs. One would have it that a collie is the most sagacious of dogs,
while
the other stood up for the setter.
"I once
owned a setter,"
declared the latter, "which was very intelligent. I had him on the
street
one day, and he acted so queerly about a certain man we met that I
asked
the man his name, and—"
"Oh, that's
an old story!"
the collie's advocate broke in sneeringly. "The man's name was
Partridge,
of course, and because of that the dog came to a set. Ho, ho! Come
again!"
"You're
mistaken," rejoined
the other suavely. "The dog didn't come quite to a set, though almost.
As a matter of fact, the man's name was Quayle, and the dog hesitated
on
account of the spelling!"
|
|
CONVERSATION
"My dog
understands every word
I say."
"Um."
"Do you doubt
it?"
"No, I do not
doubt the
brute's intelligence. The scant attention he bestows upon your
conversation
would indicate that he understands it perfectly." |
|
| A man
goes into a pet
store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any dogs that go cheap?" The
Clerk
says, "No, we have birds that go cheep, our dogs go Woof!" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Send
a link or joke to a friend
|
|
|
|
NEW INDUSTRY
Two street peddlers in Bradford, bought a
dog for $20.00. Dog was insured by a local insurance company on $300.
One day the dog was injured by a car and the insurance company paid
them for the injury. Thereupon a new industry sprang up on the
roads of Bradford. |
|
|
|
|
|
METHODS OF WORKING
At an European literary dinner the
conversation turned to the various
methods
of working employed by literary geniuses. Among the examples cited was
that of a well-known Italian poet, who, it is said, was known to arouse
his wife
about four o'clock in the morning and exclaim, "Maria, get up; I've
thought
of a good word!" Whereupon the poet's obedient helpmate would crawl out
of bed and make a note of the thought-of word. About an hour later,
like as not, a new inspiration would seize the
bard, whereupon he would again arouse his wife, saying, "Maria, Maria,
get up! I've thought of a better word!"
The company in general listened to the story with admiration, but an
American girl remarked: "Well, if he'd been my husband I
should
have replied, 'Dear, get up yourself; I've thought of a bad word!'"
|
|
 |
|
ARGUMENT
"Yes, ma'am," the old sailor confided to
the inquisitive old lady, "I fell
over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by
the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks." |
|
