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CHICKEN
TALK 3
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Why Did
The Chicken Cross
The Road?
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| Albert Einstein: Whether
the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends
upon
your frame of reference. |
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| Werner Heisenberg: We
are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was
moving
very fast. |
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| Bill Clinton:
For
that oral act what you people call sex. |
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| Epicurus: For
fun. |
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| Saddam Hussein: This
was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it. |
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| George W. Bush: For
oil, we all need oil. |
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| Darwin: It
was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. |
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| Stephen Jay Gould:It
is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we
have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite
the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of
behavior,
and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that
figure
most prominently in sociobiological speculation. |
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| Joseph Stalin: I
don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette. |
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| Jack Nicholson: 'Cause
it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. |
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| Howard Cosell: It
may very well have been one of the most astonishing event to grace the
annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the
temerity
to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo
sapien
pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence. |
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| Paul Martin: I was
only in charge of the whole office at that time and I didn't know
anything
about that behaviour. |
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| Hu Jintao: This move
is in the interests of both sides, and is conduciveto boosting peace,
stability
and prosperity in the region and the world at large. |
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| Ronald Reagan: I
forget. |
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| Emily Dickinson: Because
it could not stop for death. |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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A well
known politician came into the office yesterday. He had been out in
the
country for a week and was very cheerful. Just as he was leaving, he
said:
"Did you hear about that man who died the other day and left all he had
to the orphanage?
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"No," some one answered. "How much did he
leave?"
"Twelve children." |
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"It
requires a vast deal of courage and charity to be
philanthropic,"
remarked one local businessman. "I
remember
when I was just starting in business. I was very poor and making every
sacrifice to enlarge my little shop. My only assistant was a boy of
fourteen,
faithful and willing and honest. One day I heard him complaining, and
with
justice, that his clothes were so shabby that he was ashamed to go to
chapel.
"'There's no chance of me getting a new suit this year,' he told me.
'Dad's out of work, and it takes all of my wages to pay the rent.'
"I thought the matter over, and then took a large chunk of money from
my
carefully
hoarded savings and bought the boy a quality warm suit of blue cloth.
He
was so grateful that I felt repaid for my sacrifice. But the next day
he
didn't come to work. I met his mother on the street and asked her the
reason.
"'Why, oh my dear sir,' she said, cheerfully, 'Jimmy looks so
respectable,
thanks to you, sir, that I thought I would send him around town today
to
see if he couldn't get a better job.'" |
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