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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Bill Clinton: For that oral act what you people call sex.

Epicurus: For fun.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

George W. Bush: For oil, we all need oil.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Stephen Jay Gould:It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.

Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing event to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Paul Martin: I was only in charge of the whole office at that time and I didn't know anything about that behaviour.

Hu Jintao: This move is in the interests of both sides, and is conduciveto boosting peace, stability and prosperity in the region and the world at large.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.


Send a link or joke to a friend
A well known politician came into the office yesterday. He had been out in the country for a week and was very cheerful. Just as he was leaving, he said: "Did you hear about that man who died the other day and left all he had to the orphanage?

"No," some one answered. "How much did he leave?"

"Twelve children."
Wedding & Marriage Humor
"It requires a vast deal of courage and charity to be philanthropic," remarked one local businessman. "I remember when I was just starting in business. I was very poor and making every sacrifice to enlarge my little shop. My only assistant was a boy of fourteen, faithful and willing and honest. One day I heard him complaining, and with justice, that his clothes were so shabby that he was ashamed to go to chapel.

"'There's no chance of me getting a new suit this year,' he told me. 'Dad's out of work, and it takes all of my wages to pay the rent.'

"I thought the matter over, and then took a large chunk of money from my carefully hoarded savings and bought the boy a quality warm suit of blue cloth. He was so grateful that I felt repaid for my sacrifice. But the next day he didn't come to work. I met his mother on the street and asked her the reason.

"'Why, oh my dear sir,' she said, cheerfully, 'Jimmy looks so respectable, thanks to you, sir, that I thought I would send him around town today to see if he couldn't get a better job.'"

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