Blonde Questions & Answers 4

Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? 
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. 

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? 
A:10 One to mix the dough and 9 to peel the smarties. 

Q: How do you drown a blonde? 
A: Don't tell her to swallow.

Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry? 
A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex! 

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds." 

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? 
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. 

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? 
A: She threw it off a cliff. 

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? 
A: She drowns it.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? 
A: "Nice tits!" 

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? 
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. 

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? 
A: "Oh look!  Donut seeds!" 

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? 
A: She kept having affairs with men! 

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? 
A: A Space Invader. 

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? 
A: The back of her head. 

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? 
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night! 

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? 
A: Branch Manager.

Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes? 
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. 

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them. 

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? 
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it. 

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? 
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. 




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"Darling," said the husband to his blonde wife, "the janitor of these flats is a bachelor."

"What of it?"

"I really think he is becoming interested in our oldest daughter."

"There you go again with your pipe dreams! Last week it was a businessman."

Scientist sat next to a soulful blonde at dinner one night, and that dreamy one turned her sad eyes upon him.

"Have you no other ambition, my dear Mr. Smart," she demanded, "than to force people to degrade themselves by laughter?"

Yes, scientist had an ambition. A whale of an ambition. Some day he hoped to gratify it.

The woman rested her elbows on the table and propped her face in her long, sad hands, and glowed into his eyes. " Oh, Mr. Smart," she said, "Tell me about it."

"I want to throw an egg into an electric fan," said scientist, simply.

Wedding & Marriage Humor


—"Yes dear."

—"Teacher says we're here to help others."

—"Of course we are."

—"Well, what are the others here for?"