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Blonde
Questions & Answers 3
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Q: What
does a blonde say
when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are
you sure it's
mine? |
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Q: What do
you call 15 blondes
in a circle?
A: A dope ring. |
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Q: Why did
the blonde scale
the glass wall?
A: To see what
was on the
other side. |
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Q: Why do
blondes take the
pill?
A: So they
know what day
of the week it is. |
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Q: What's
the difference
between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde
has larger hills
and deeper valleys. |
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Q: What's
the difference
between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't
lend the Porsche
out to your friend. |
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Q: If a
blonde and brunette
are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The
brunette. The
blonde has to stop to ask for directions. |
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Q: What is
the difference
between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can
only get three
fingers in a bowling ball. |
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Q: What is
the difference
between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know
how many men
went down on "The Titanic". |
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Q: What's
the difference
between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30
cents to
use a telephone. |
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Q: What do
blondes and cow-pats
have in common?
A: They both
get easier
to pick-up with age. |
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Q:
Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A:
Because she's been laid all over the country. |
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Q:
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A:
"Thanks for the refill!" |
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Q:
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A:
Gifted! |
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Q:
What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A:
Nothing. They've never met. |
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Q: What
does a blonde and
a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're
both empty from
the neck up. |
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Q: Why did
the deaf blonde
sit on a newspaper?
A: So she
could lip read. |
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Q: What do
you call a dumb
blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air
bag. |
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Q: What
does a blonde say
when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on.
It's off. It's
on. It's off. It's on. It's off. |
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Q: Did you
hear about the
blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a
drive-in
movie theater?
A: They went
to see "Closed
for the Winter." |
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BACK
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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"How old
are you, Shirley?" asked an old lady, giving a candy to little
blonde girl.
"Well, when I'm home I'm five, when I'm in school I'm six, and when
I'm on the bus I'm four." |
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"How effusively sweet that beautiful blonde is to you,
Jones," said his friend.
"What's up? Any tender little romance there?"
"No, indeed—why, that woman hates me," said Jones.
"She doesn't show it," said his friend.
"No; but she knows I know how old she is—we were both born on the
same
day," said Jones, "and she's afraid I'll tell somebody." |
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BLONDE NURSE —"When a man reaches
your
age, Mr. Smith, he cannot, in the nature of things, expect to live very
much longer, and I—"
MR SMITH—"I dunno,
my dear blonde. I have been stronger on my legs than I
were
when I started!" |
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There was once a remarkably kind boy who was a great angler.
There
was
a trout stream in his neighborhood that ran through a rich man's
estate.
Permits to fish the stream could now and then be obtained, and the boy
was lucky enough to have a permit.
One day he was fishing with beautiful blonde girl when a gamekeeper
suddenly
darted
forth from a thicket. The lad with the permit uttered a cry of fright,
dropped his rod, and ran off at top speed. The gamekeeper pursued.
For about half a mile the gamekeeper was led a swift and difficult
chase.
Then, worn out, the boy halted. The man seized him by the arm and said
between pants:
"Have you a permit to fish on this estate?
"Yes to be sure," said the boy, quietly.
"You have? Then show it to me."
The boy drew the permit from his pocket. The man examined it and
frowned
in perplexity and anger.
"Why did you run when you had this permit?" he asked.
"To let the girl get away," was the reply. "She didn't have
none!" |
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| BLONDE
(in bed, to alarm-clock as it goes off)—"I fooled yez that time.
I was not aslape at all." |
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Little Girl: "What is alimony, ma?"
Blonde Mother: "It
is a man's cash surrender value dear." |
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