Blonde Questions & Answers 3

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? 
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine? 

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? 
A: A dope ring.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? 
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why do blondes take the pill? 
A: So they know what day of the week it is. 

Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde? 
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys. 

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? 
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend. 

Q: If a blonde and brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
 A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. 

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? 
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. 

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? 
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic". 

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone? 
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone. 

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? 
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age. 

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? 
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!" 

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? 
A: Gifted! 

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? 
A: Nothing.  They've never met. 

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? 
A: They're both empty from the neck up. 

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? 
A: So she could lip read. 

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? 
A: An air bag. 

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? 
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. 

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? 
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter."




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"How old are you, Shirley?" asked an old lady, giving a candy  to little blonde girl.
"Well, when I'm home I'm five, when I'm in school I'm six, and when I'm on the bus I'm four."
"How effusively sweet that beautiful blonde is to you, Jones," said his friend.

"What's up? Any tender little romance there?"

"No, indeed—why, that woman hates me," said Jones.

"She doesn't show it," said his friend.

"No; but she knows I know how old she is—we were both born on the same day," said Jones, "and she's afraid I'll tell somebody."
BLONDE NURSE —"When a man reaches your age, Mr. Smith, he cannot, in the nature of things, expect to live very much longer, and I—"

MR SMITH—"I dunno, my dear blonde. I have been stronger on my legs than I were when I started!"
There was once a remarkably kind boy who was a great angler. There was a trout stream in his neighborhood that ran through a rich man's estate. Permits to fish the stream could now and then be obtained, and the boy was lucky enough to have a permit.

One day he was fishing with beautiful blonde girl when a gamekeeper suddenly darted forth from a thicket. The lad with the permit uttered a cry of fright, dropped his rod, and ran off at top speed. The gamekeeper pursued.

For about half a mile the gamekeeper was led a swift and difficult chase. Then, worn out, the boy halted. The man seized him by the arm and said between pants:
"Have you a permit to fish on this estate?
"Yes to be sure," said the boy, quietly.
"You have? Then show it to me."

The boy drew the permit from his pocket. The man examined it and frowned in perplexity and anger.
"Why did you run when you had this permit?" he asked.

"To let the girl get away," was the reply. "She didn't have none!"

BLONDE (in bed, to alarm-clock as it goes off)—"I fooled yez that time. I was not aslape at all."
Little Girl: "What is alimony, ma?"
Blonde Mother: "It is a man's cash surrender value dear."