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Blonde Questions & Answers 2

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? 
A: Because red means stop. 

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear? 
A: They make good ankle warmers. 

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? 
A: Walks home. 

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in front of the mirror? 
A: Introduces themselves. 

Q: What do blondes say after sex? 
A: "Thanks, Guys!" 

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? 
A: Because everybody gets a turn. 

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? 
A: Data transfer. 

Q: Why do blondes have more fun? 
A: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!" 

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? 
A:  Not everyone has been in a 747. 

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? 
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. 

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? 
A: None of them.  There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper. 

Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? 
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces. 

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor? 
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 
A: "Are you sure it's mine?" 

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? 
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.

Q : What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning 
A: A visitor. 

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A well-meaning  florist was the cause of much embarrassment to a young man who was in love with a rich and beautiful blonde girl.

It appears that one afternoon she informed the young man that the next day would be her birthday, whereupon the suitor remarked that he would the next morning send her some roses, one rose for each year.

That night he wrote a note to his florist, ordering the delivery of twenty roses for the young woman. The florist himself filled the order, and, thinking to improve on it, said to his clerk:
"Here's an order from young John for twenty roses. He's one of my best customers, so I'll throw in ten more for good measure."
On Kids Way
A small boy who had recently passed his fifth birthday was riding in a suburban bus with his blonde mother, when they were asked the customary question, "How old is the boy?" After being told the correct age, which did not require a fare, the conductor passed on to the next person.
The boy sat quite still as if pondering over some question, and then, concluding that full information had not been given, called loudly to the conductor, then at the other end of the car: "And my mother's thirty-one!"
Intoxicated
The conversation turned to the subject of age. "I attribute my many years," said 88 years old blonde, "to the fact that I have been most abstemious. I have eaten sparingly, and have not used tobacco, and have taken little exercise."

"It is just the reverse in my case," explained old brunette" I have eaten just as much as I wished, if I could get it; I have always used tobacco and wine, immoderately at times; and I have always taken a great deal of exercise."

With that, 88 years old blonde shook her head at 87 years old brunette and said, "Well, you will never live to be an old woman!"