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Stupid Men Jokes
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If men got pregnant...
abortion
would be available in
convenience stores and drive through windows. |
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LETTING HER KNOW
Jack:
"I'm writing to tell Mary that I didn't
mean what I
said in my
last letter."
Friend: "What did
you say in your last letter?"
Jack: "That I
didn't mean what I said in the one
before." |
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QUESTION: What do men and pantyhose have in
common?
ANSWER: They either cling, run or don't fit right
in the crotch! |
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A FRIEND IN NEED
What true friendship consists in depends on
the
temperament of the
man
who has a friend. It is related that at
the funeral of Mr. Parker, who
died extremely poor, the usually cold-blooded Mr. Blair was much
affected.
"You thought a great deal
of him, I suppose?" some one
asked him.
"Thought a great deal of
him? I should think I did.
There was a true
friend. He never asked me to lend him a cent, though I knew well enough
he was starving to death." |
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Robert: "I think
that
your girlfriend has been awfully mean to you. If I
were you
I'd get even with her."
John: "You are
right, but getting even with her won't satisfy me. I'm
going to get uneven with her." |
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BLESSING
The philosopher, on being interrupted in
his thoughts by the violent
cackling of a hen that had just laid an egg, was led to express his
appreciation of a kind Providence by which a fish while laying a
million
eggs to a hen's one, does so in a perfectly quiet and ladylike manner. |
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NATURALLY UNLACKY
The man was weak and naturally unlucky, and
so he got married three
times inside of a year. He was convicted and sentenced for four years.
He seemed greatly relieved. As the expiration of his term grew near, he
wrote from the penitentiary to his lawyer, with the plaintive query:
"Will it be safe for me to come out?" |
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BETROTHAL
The cook, Nora, had announced her
engagement to a regular customer at
the restaurant, named Mike. But a year passed and nothing was heard of
the
nuptials. So, one day, her boss inquired: "When are you to be
married, Nora?"
"Indade, an' it's niver at
all, I'll be thinkin', mum," the cook
answered sadly.
"Really? Why, what is the
trouble?"
The reply was explicit:
"'Tis this, mum. I won't
marry Mike when he's drunk, an' he won't
marry
me when he's sober." |
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