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LAWYER
JOKES
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PERMITTED
AND PROHIBITED
In
the US, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted.
In
Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
In
Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law.
In
France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law. |
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PAYMENT
Jim was
charged with stealing a car, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted
him. Later that day Jim came back to the judge who had presided at the
hearing.
"Your
honor," he said, "I want get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of
mine."
"Why
?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have
him
arrested for ?"
"Well,
your honor," replied Jim, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so
he
went and took the car I stole." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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Lady: "Yes, she's married to a
lawyer, and a good
honest
fellow too."
Cynic: "Wow, I
didn't know she is bigamist!" |
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GETTING EVEN
Lawyer's
Wife: "Dear, I have made up my mind to fine you fifty
cents every
time you swear."
Lawyer: "That's a bargain, if you'll give me fifty cents
every time
you envy me for being able to." |
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MISTAKE
A minister and lawyer were chatting
at a party: "What
do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied
the lawyer.
"What do you do?" lawyer asked.
"Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day
I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said
'the
devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go," minister replied. |
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MILKING
There was the
cartoon showing
two people fighting over a cow. One was pulling the cow by the tail;
the
other was pulling on the horns. Underneath was a lawyer milking the
cow.
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AN
ENGINE TROUBLE
An
airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin
crew to have the passengers take their seats and prepare for an
emergency landing.
A few minutes later the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone
was buckled in and ready.
"All set, back here," come the reply," except for one lawyer who's
still passing out business cards."
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